Call Girl Begins
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Hey there true believers. Have you ever wondered about the origin of Call Girl? If you haven't and you don't care, why are you planning to read this story? Excelsior!


Wendy (Narrating): Ok let's do this one last time. My name is Wendy Testaburger. And for a long while I've been the one and only Call Girl. I'm pretty sure you know me already, girlfriend of Stan Marsh, had 4 breakups, called Kim Kardashian a Hobbit, took part in the Gender war, killed the bitch Miss Ellen, etc, etc. Everyone knows the origins of every member of the Freedom Pals except me. Well I plan to tell-

Craig (Narrating): They don't know about me and Tweek.

Wendy (Narrating): Excuse me, you're interrupting my narration.

Craig (Narrating): I don't care. Me and Tweek deserve our own story and also Scott. We don't know his origin.

Wendy (Narrating): Shut up Craig! Stop being a jackass.

Craig (Narrating): Fine.

Wendy (Narrating): As I was saying. I'll tell you.

South Park elementary.

Wendy was walking down the hallway holding some books.

Tweek: I can't believe you sold me out!

Craig: Coon and Friends are gonna make more money Tweek!

Tweek: You should've left with me instead of leaving me!

Wendy just gave an annoyed sigh.

Wendy places the books in her locker.

She notices Stan sleeping by his locker.

Wendy approaches Stan.

Wendy shakes Stan.

Wendy: Wake up sleeping beauty.

Stan: What? What? Oh hey Wendy.

Wendy: What are you doing sleeping by your locker?

Stan: I couldn't sleep.

Wendy: What were you doing last night?

Stan: Nothing. I guess I had struggle sleeping.

Wendy: Oh. I hope I can help in some way Stan.

Stan: Wendy, I'm fine trust me.

Wendy: If you say so. Well class is starting, come on.

Stan: Alright I'm com-

Suddenly a screwdriver falls out of Stan's pocket.

Wendy managed to catch a quick glimpse of Stan picking up the screwdriver.

Wendy: What the?

Stan: Come on Wendy. We don't wanna be late do we?

Craig walks past Stan giving him the middle finger.

Craig: Fuck you Freedom Pal.

Wendy: What does he mean by Freedom Pal?

Stan: He's just looking for someone to blame. He and Tweek went through a nasty breakup.

Craig: Stop mentioning it and you are one of the reasons why Tweek and I are split!

Wendy pulls a suspicious look.

Stevens residence.

Bebe was on her laptop whilst Wendy was on her phone.

Wendy sighed.

Bebe: Is there something wrong Wendy?

Wendy: Oh it's nothing Bebe.

Bebe: Wendy don't bull shit me. I know when you're not yourself.

Wendy: It's just, I'm a little worried about Stan.

Bebe: Has he got another hoarding problem?

Wendy: No. I think he hasn't gotten any sleep for the last few days. I'm pretty sure you're aware of him falling asleep in the middle of class.

Bebe: Well we all did. Wendy we all fell asleep when we were watching Blade Runner 2049.

Wendy: But here's the thing, Stan fell asleep before the movie started. I think he's probably having some trouble sleeping.

Bebe: Well maybe you could go to his house and ask.

Wendy: But I saw something else strange. I saw a screwdriver fell out of Stan's pocket and he quickly picked it up like he doesn't want anyone to know about it.

Bebe: Do you think he's planning to become a serial killer called the Screwdriver killer?

Wendy:...Really Bebe?

Bebe: What? It's a possibility.

Wendy: I'm going to Stan's. I'll catch you later.

Bebe: Alright Wendy. And if Stan is a serial killer let me know.

Wendy: He's not a serial killer!

Later that night.

Marsh residence.

Wendy knocked on the door.

Shelly answered.

Shelly: Oh. Hey Turd's Bitch.

Wendy: Shelly can you stop calling me that?

Shelly: No. If you're here for the turd he's at his stupid friends house.

Wendy: Kyle?

Shelly: No the rich turd. He and the Jewish turd have been having some problems that don't concern me.

Wendy: Yeah. I heard he and Kyle were having problems. Thanks Shelly.

Shelly: Shut up bitch!

Shelly slams the door.

Wendy: What a bitch.

Some random street.

Wendy was walking down the street.

Wendy: What is Stan doing at Token's?

Suddenly Wendy was jumped by 6th graders.

Wendy screamed.

6th grader 1: Well, well, well. A little fourthie.

6th grader 2: And she fell for our surprise attack.

Wendy: Well you aren't very silent.

6th grader 3: Well pathetic little fourthie looks like we're gonna have to deal with you our special way.

Suddenly the first 6th grader was hit on the head with a trash can.

The mysterious hero kicked the second 6th grader in the balls.

And that mysterious hero was Toolshed.

Toolshed: Leave her now.

6th grader 3: I don't think so, little fourthie.

Toolshed: I think you need to work on your insults better.

6th grader 3: I'll kill you.

Toolshed threw his power drill at the 6th grader's head causing him to be knocked out.

Toolshed approached Wendy.

Toolshed: Are you alright?

Wendy: Yeah Stan thanks.

Toolshed: ...What?...Who is this Stan you're talking about?

Wendy: You're not even disguising your voice.

Toolshed ran away.

Wendy: Hey!

Wendy stood in anger and confusion.

6th grader 3: Stupid fourthie.

South Park elementary.

Stan was at his locker putting some stuff away.

Wendy approached him.

Wendy: So this is why you don't sleep?

Stan sighed.

Stan: Yeah.

Wendy: You go out trying to get yourself killed?

Stan: Sometimes. But I usually go to Token's to discuss franchise plans. We sometimes go out to fight-

Wendy: Franchise plans?

Stan (Narrating): Alright lets do this one last time. Before there was the Freedom Pals, there was Coon and Friends. There was Human Kite AKA Kyle Broflovski, Tupperware AKA Token Black, Mosquito AKA Clyde Donovan, Mysterion AKA Kenny McCormick, Iron Maiden AKA Timmy Burch, Mint Berry Crunch AKA Bradley Biggle, me and The Coon AKA Eric Cartman. At first we just wanted to save the world. But than we saw how well Marvel was doing with their franchises, except for X-Men and Fantastic Four, so we decided to start and make Coon and Friends a franchise. Later Timmy turned into Doctor Timothy and Bradley left Earth to find his home planet because he is an alien and I am telling the truth about that part. Later on we got new members, Fastpass AKA Jimmy Valmer, Wonder Tweek AKA Tweek Tweak and Super Craig AKA Craig. But than an argument happened and The Coon and Friends split. Me, Token, Timmy, Tweek and Kenny left to start The Freedom Pals. But Timmy is working on a secret project that is confidential and I shouldn't reveal it to anyone not even you.

Wendy: Why not?

Stan: I don't know, Timmy says I shouldn't.

Wendy: Wait you understand him?

Stan: Sort of. Anyway we sometimes go out to fight crimes but we mostly discuss franchise plans.

Wendy: Is that why you don't get sleep?

Stan: Yeah. Anyway if you have plans to become a superhero, please for God sake don't.

Wendy: I wasn't planning to.

Stan: Good. Anyway lets get to class.

Wendy followed Stan.

Stevens residence.

Wendy: I really wanna fight crime Bebe.

Bebe: Why?

Wendy: Because I wanna show Stan that I am capable of getting myself out of danger.

Bebe: He's just trying to look out for you.

Wendy: Well I'm sick of being treated like I can't handle anything. Doesn't he remember when I kicked Cartman's ass?

Bebe: But that was Cartman. He's talking about gangs, thieves and Cheese heads.

Wendy: Bebe I really wanna do this. Since you're good at designing, could you make me a costume?

Bebe: Ok Wendy. Since you're my best friend.

Wendy: Alright. I want you to make me something that fits my personality, but don't make my outfit revealing. I don't wanna be called Super Slut.

Bebe: Alright Wendy. If I'm right, the suit will be ready by tomorrow.

3 weeks later.

Wendy: Took you long enough.

Bebe: Sorry, I got distracted.

Wendy: With Snapchat posts?

Bebe: Yeah.

Wendy: Well I can't blame you for being a millennial. Show me the suit.

Bebe shows Wendy the suit.

It was a purple tank top with a dark pink skirt with some straps around the tank top and also some phones were taped on the costume.

Wendy: I said not revealing.

Bebe: I didn't have that much material.

Wendy: May I ask, what is that symbol?

Wendy was referring to the symbol that was on the tank top which resembled a pink flaming dragon and had a black background.

Bebe: Well you are kind of a hot head.

Wendy: What's with these phones?

Bebe: Well you are good with phones and hacking. That kind of fits your personality.

Wendy: I guess you're right.

Bebe: Try it on.

Wendy: Ok.

Minutes later.

Wendy was dressed in her costume.

Wendy: It fits perfect.

Bebe: I recommend you wear these gloves so you don't leave any fingerprints.

Bebe hands Wendy the pink gloves.

Wendy puts the gloves on.

Bebe: And this mask. To obviously hide your identity.

Wendy puts the mask on.

Wendy: What's the wireless microphone for?

Bebe: Communication. And lastly these wristbands.

Wendy: Why do I need wristbands?

Bebe: Because fashion.

Wendy puts the wristbands on and places them up to her elbows.

Bebe: Now we need a name.

Wendy: Well I can't think of any.

Bebe: How about Phone Girl? No Bebe that's stupid. Hacker? Nah. Social Warrior? Dammit Bebe you're trying to turn her into a superhero not a PC person. Think, think th-

Wendy: Call Girl.

Wendy and Bebe stare at each other.

Bebe: Captain Call Girl.

Wendy stares at Bebe.

Bebe: No? Just Call Girl?

Wendy: Yeah.

Bebe: Yeah that does sound better.

Wendy: It sounds like a fucking franchise to me.

Wendy exits the room.

Bebe: Hey! You forgot your clothes!

But Wen-I mean Call Girl was long gone.

Later.

Call Girl was out patrolling the streets until she came across three Chaos minions doing graffiti on a random wall.

Chaos minion 1: Chaos rules!

Chaos minion 2: Yeah!

Call Girl: Hey!

The three Chaos minions turned their attention to Call Girl.

They start laughing.

Chaos minion 1: Who the hell are you supposed to be? Super slut?

Call Girl: No my name is Call Girl.

The Chaos minions continue laughing.

Chaos minion 2: So basically Super Slut?

Call Girl: You three are going down the right path for an ass kicking.

Chaos minion 3: Well come on Super Slut!

Call Girl starts attacking the Chaos minions.

But Call Girl was getting her ass handed.

Chaos minion 2 punched Call Girl in the face.

Call Girl kicks Chaos minion 2 in the balls.

Chaos minion 1 grabs Call Girl from behind, but Call Girl does a back headbutt at Chaos minion 1.

Causing him to have a nose bleed.

Chaos minion 3 punches Call Girl in the face.

Chaos minion 2 kicks Call Girl in the chest.

Call Girl uppercuts Chaos minion 2.

Until Call Girl feels a sharp pain in her stomach.

And that was because she was stabbed with a knife.

Chaos minion 2: Dude! You just stabbed her.

Chaos minion 1: So?

Chaos minion 3: Dude we aren't supposed to kill. That's what Professor Chaos said.

Chaos minion 1: I'm pretty sure she'll be fine.

Call Girl slowly stands up holding onto the knife lodged in her stomach.

Call Girl walks on the road until a car hits her.

Chaos minion 2: Holy shit!

Chaos minion 3: She really needs a hospital.

Later.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Wendy wakes up in the hospital.

Wendy: What the?

Suddenly Wendy felt like somebody was hugging her and that's because Stan was hugging her.

Stan: Thank God you're ok.

Stan had tears in his eyes.

Wendy hugged Stan back.

Wendy: Have you been with me this entire time?

They stopped hugging and stared at each other.

Stan: I stayed with you for an hour everyday after school.

Wendy wipes the tears coming from Stan's eyes.

Wendy: How long was I out?

Stan: Two days.

Wendy: Really?

Stan: Yeah. You were stabbed and got hit by a car. You were very lucky.

Wendy: It does seem kind of improbable that I would survive.

Stan: Yeah. Like I said lucky.

Wendy: Stan. I need to confess.

Suddenly a nurse entered the room.

Nurse: Son, visiting hours are over.

Stan: Ok. Tell me later Wendy.

Wendy: Ok.

Stan: And I'll tell you about this superhero some kid told me about called Super Slut. What kind of name is Super Slut?

Stan left the room.

Wendy just sighed.

A few days later.

Stevens residence.

Bebe: I'm glad you're alright Wendy. I'm assuming you're gonna end this superhero gig.

Wendy: No.

Bebe: What?!

Wendy: I'm not giving up.

Bebe: Wendy, you almost died for God sake. Are you just gonna be like Kenny and almost die with everything he does?

Wendy: I'm not Kenny, Bebe.

Bebe: You're my best friend, I don't want you to kill yourself!

Wendy: And as your best friend I want to go back to being a superhero.

Bebe: Alright fine Wendy. Here's your costume.

Bebe throws Wendy her costume.

Wendy notices some stitches on the costume.

Wendy: Did you-

Bebe: Don't ask how I got it off you.

Wendy: Ok.

Bebe: Although, I think a reason why you went down in that fight was because you didn't really have a weapon.

Wendy: What weapon do I need?

Bebe: Um...a selfie stick?

Bebe hands Wendy a selfie stick.

Wendy: You didn't know what weapon to pick didn't you?

Bebe: That's correct.

Wendy: Ok. If this breaks I'm sorry.

Wendy leaves the room.

Later.

Call Girl was out by downtown South Park patrolling.

Call Girl notices a missing cat poster for a cat named Scrambles.

Call Girl: It's probably dead.

Call Girl continues patrolling until she comes across Peter Mullen being beaten by two 6th graders.

6th grader 1: Stupid nerdy fourthie.

Peter Mullen: Help me. Somebody!

Call Girl: Hey!

The 6th graders turn their attention to Call Girl.

6th grader 2: Won't you look at that pathetic little fourthie.

6th grader 1: Yeah!

Call Girl: Leave him alone and I promise...

Call Girl grabs her selfie stick.

Call Girl: ...there won't be any trouble

6th graders: Ooooooooooooooo!

6th grader 1: I'm shivering to my bones.

Call Girl: You should be.

Call Girl makes her first move and hits the first 6th grader with her selfie stick.

The 2nd one punches Call Girl in the eye.

The first one gets up and kicks Call Girl and she falls to her knees.

Call Girl quickly gets back up and hits the second 6th grader in the balls with her selfie stick.

Call Girl punches the first 6th grader in the stomach and than kicks him in the balls.

The second 6th grader throws the lid of a trash can at Call Girl, but Call Girl dodges it Matrix style.

The lid flew into the first 6th grader's head.

The second 6th punches Call Girl in the face a few times and she falls to the ground.

Call Girl gets up again.

6th grader 2: You never stay down.

Call Girl wipes the blood coming out of her mouth.

Call Girl: Yeah.

The 6th grader tries to grab Call Girl, but Call Girl does a uppercut causing the 6th grader to be knocked down.

Call Girl approaches Peter.

Peter Mullen: You saved me. Thank you Super Slut.

Call Girl: My name isn't Super Slut. It's Call Girl.

6th grader 1: Still a Super Slut.

Call Girl knocks the 6th grader out with her selfie stick.

South Park elementary.

Hallway.

Peter Mullen: And than she beat the living crap out of them.

Brimmy: I don't believe you.

Jason White: Peter may be a geek, but I will believe in anything he says.

Wendy walks down the hallway smiling, but she was wearing shades to hide her black eye.

Stan: Hey Wendy.

Wendy: Oh hey Stan.

Stan: Why are you wearing those shades?

Wendy: I just thought they would look cool.

Stan removes the shades from Wendy.

Wendy: Dammit.

Stan: Oh my God! Who did this?

Wendy: Stan, don't worry I fell.

Stan: You fell?

Wendy: Yeah.

Stan: Wendy, that is the oldest excuse in the book.

Wendy: I'm serious Stan. I just fell and hit my eye on the wall.

Stan: I don't believe it for a second.

Wendy: Alright, I was jumped by 6th graders and they beat me without stealing anything.

Stan: Why were you lying about being jumped by 6th graders?

Wendy: I honestly don't know.

Stan: Being beaten by 6th graders isn't something to lie about though.

Wendy: I know.

Meanwhile.

Kenny was getting some stuff from his locker until Token and Tweek approached him.

Token: Kenny, have you heard about the new superhero?

Kenny: You mean Captain Diabetes? I told Scott he should've taken our side.

Tweek: No we mean this new one. (Tweek twitched) And it's a girl.

Kenny: A girl?

Token: She saved Peter Mullen's life.

Tweek: And according to him (Tweek twitched) her name is Call Girl.

Kenny: Call Girl?

Token: Yeah. I think she sounds awesome.

Tweek: We could use a female for our (Tweek twitched) superhero franchise.

Kenny: Yeah. Oh boy I hope her costume shows some cleavage.

Later that night.

Stevens residence.

Wendy was on her phone whilst Bebe was on her laptop.

Wendy: Anyway Bebe I forgot to ask you something?

Bebe: What is it Wendy?

Wendy: What kind of material was your selfie stick made out of?

Bebe: I don't know. Why ask that?

Wendy: Because when I hit a 6th grader the selfie stick didn't break at all.

Bebe: Why is that a concern?

Wendy: It isn't really.

Bebe: Do you think you'll continue fighting crime?

Wendy: You know what? I think I will.

Bebe: Good, because I need your help. My cat is missing.

Wendy: And you want me to go looking for it?

Bebe: Sort of. I heard a rumour that some kids wearing tin foil masks and helmets are the ones holding Thumper hostage at the old warehouse near the SoDoSoPa district.

Wendy dons her Call Girl costume.

Call Girl: Alright. I'm going.

Bebe: You got changed fast.

Call Girl jumped out of the window.

Bebe: Wendy!

Bebe looks out of her window to see if Wendy had hurt herself.

But she didn't see her on the ground.

Bebe: How did she do that?

The warehouse.

Call Girl made it to the warehouse.

Call Girl knocked on the door.

Chaos minion: What's the password?

Call Girl: Let me in.

Chaos minion: Are you new?

Call Girl: Uhhhnh...yeah.

Chaos minion: Ok the password is Fidelio.

Call Girl: Fidelio.

The door opens.

Chaos minion: Oh fuck it's Super Sl-I mean Call Girl.

Call Girl pushed the Chaos minion out of her way.

General Disarray: No! No! You were supposed to stop intruders!

Chaos minion: But she sounded like a new member.

Call Girl: Look I'm here for the cat you captured.

General Disarray: What cat?

Call Girl: The cat you stole from the Stevens residence.

General Disarray laughed.

General Disarray: Who would wanna steal a cat?

Call Girl: Cheese heads.

General Disarray: Do we look like Cheese heads?

Call Girl: No. Well except for that one.

Call Girl points at a Chaos minion who was cheesing his head off.

General Disarray: Dammit minion. I told you to not cheese while on duty!

Call Girl: You do have cats!

General Disarray: Only one.

Call Girl: Show me where they are!

General Disarray: How about I'll show you the Chaos minions who are about to grab you?

Suddenly two Chaos minions grab Call Girl.

General Disarray: Now I'll be on my way while my brute deals with you.

A huge Chaos minion shows up.

General Disarray exists the warehouse.

Call Girl struggles to get herself off the Chaos minions, but she got punched in the face by one of the Chaos minions.

Chaos brute: You are so fucking dead bitch!

Suddenly the brute got knocked out on the back of the head by a trash can lid.

The brute collapsed revealing Mysterion was the one who knocked him out.

Mysterion: Alright you pricks. Let's see what you got.

The Chaos minion who was guarding the door ran up to Mysterion, but Mysterion punches the minion in the face.

The two chaos kids who were holding Call Girl hostage both run up to attack Mysterion.

Mysterion punches the first one in the face causing him to have a nose bleed, whilst the 2nd one punched Mysterion in the back causing the minion to scream in pain.

Mysterion kicks the other Chaos minion in the balls.

Mysterion approaches the Chaos minion he punched in the face earlier.

The Chaos minion pulls out some discs and throws them at Mysterion, but Mysterion does a back flip avoiding every disc.

The Chaos minion tries to punch Mysterion again, but Mysterion punches the minion in the chest and than does an uppercut on the minion.

Mysterion approaches Call Girl.

Mysterion: Are you alright?

Call Girl suddenly throws her selfie stick at the minion that was approaching up behind Mysterion.

Call Girl: Yeah.

Mysterion: So, you must be Call Girl.

Call Girl: Yeah.

Mysterion: (Whistle) Nice outfit.

Call Girl: Are you staring at my legs Kenny?

Mysterion: Uh...Who's this Kenny?

Call Girl: Stan told me you were Mysterion.

Mysterion: Wait, Wendy?

Call Girl: Yeah.

Mysterion: Shit! Sorry. Why the hell are you a superhero? Stan's gonna be pissed.

Call Girl: I wanted to prove to Stan I was capable of fighting the danger.

Mysterion: You do realise Stan only said that because he wants to keep you safe?

Call Girl: I get it. I just don't wanna be treated like I can't handle things. I'm assuming you came here to rescue me.

Mysterion: I was actually here on business of my own. I'm on the missing cats case as well. Technically the Freedom Pals are on the case.

Call Girl: Well we can start by interrogating this Cheese head.

The Chaos minion was flapping his arms.

Mysterion: Where's the cat?

Chaos minion: I see tons of cats in this amazing place.

Mysterion: Aww. He got to see the princess naked.

Call Girl: What princess?

Mysterion grabs the Chaos minion.

Mysterion starts shaking him.

Mysterion: Come on! Stop cheesing! Dude! Dude!

The Chaos minion stops cheesing.

Chaos minion: Aww! You have got to be kidding me. I was so close into touching them as well.

Mysterion: You were? You son of a bitch!

Mysterion was about to punch the Chaos minion until Call Girl grabbed his arm.

Call Girl: I have a better idea of interrogating him.

Later.

Call Girl and Mysterion were on the roof with the Chaos minion.

Mysterion: I am gonna push you off this roof unless you tell me about the cats.

Chaos minion: I'll tell you about the cats. We don't have any.

Call Girl: Than why were you cheesing?

Chaos minion: I actually found a stray cat and I decided to give cheesing a go with it.

Mysterion: That's it?

Chaos minion: Yeah.

Mysterion: So you and Professor Chaos have nothing to do with the missing cats?

Chaos minion: I can't quite remember if Professor Chaos had something to do with the whole missing cat academic.

Mysterion: Well you are a Cheese head, so remembering isn't your strong point.

Chaos minion: Can I go home?

Mysterion punches the Chaos minion knocking him out.

Call Girl: There was no need to do that.

Mysterion: I always feel like doing that after my interrogations.

Call Girl: Ok.

Call Girl pulls a couple of phones from her pockets.

Mysterion: What are you doing?

Call Girl: Hacking into his phone to see if I can find anything useful.

Mysterion: Let me know if you find anything, I'm going to see if I can find the cat this Cheese head has been cheesing.

Call Girl: Ok. You do that.

Mysterion doesn't move.

Call Girl: Well. Aren't you gonna find the cat?

Mysterion: Sorry. (Whispering) Damn she has some fine legs.

Mysterion enters the hatch.

Call Girl continues hacking until she finds something that shocks her.

Later.

Call Girl meets up with Mysterion outside the warehouse.

Call Girl: Find anything?

Mysterion: Nothing but Al Gore writing the script to An Inconvenient Truth 3. Anything on your phone?

Call Girl: I've hacked into his social media account and found out he's a troll on Instagram called DesTroy10.

Mysterion: The troll who caused Timmy to quit Instagram?

Call Girl: And that's not all. Apparently he's been invited to a secret meeting of trolls at the community centre next Monday.

Mysterion: Not really secretive. Does it also give out any information on who's coming?

Call Girl: Two very important people DildoShwaggins and...SkankHunt42.

Mysterion: He or she is coming?!

Call Girl: So he or she decides to pop up after being inactive for so long?

Mysterion: Apparently so.

Call Girl: Finally I can show that stupid bitch Nelly that SkankHunt42 might not be a boy.

Mysterion: I don't think you should come.

Call Girl: Why?

Mysterion: This isn't just an army of 6th graders or Chaos minions, there could be adults as well.

Call Girl: I can handle this.

Mysterion: No you can't! You need proper training.

Call Girl: And will you be willing to train me?

Mysterion: Yes I will. Since I can't do this alone and the others will be probably busy trying to find a cat that's probably dead.

Call Girl: Great. Where shall we start?

Mysterion: Tomorrow. By the frozen pond.

Call Girl: Very well. Anyway Kenny.

Mysterion: Yeah.

Call Girl: Can you please not tell Stan about me being a superhero?

Mysterion: I won't unless...

Call Girl: Unless what?

Mysterion: You show me your boobs.

Call Girl: What?!

Mysterion starts laughing.

Mysterion: You should've seen the look on your face.

Mysterion continued laughing.

Mysterion: You don't have to show me your boobs!

Call Girl: I didn't?!

Mysterion: No. You have to show me your vagina.

Call Girl: What?!

Mysterion laughed even louder.

Mysterion: You don't have to show me your vagina!

Mysterion continued laughing.

Mysterion: You just have to let me see you naked.

Mysterion continued laughing.

Call Girl: That is also a joke right?

Mysterion stopped laughing.

Mysterion: Dammit! I'll see ya tomorrow.

Mysterion set off some fire crackers and disappeared into the night.

Call Girl: What a perv.

The next day.

The frozen pond.

Call Girl and Mysterion were on the ice duelling.

Call Girl was using her selfie stick whilst Mysterion was just using a stick.

Mysterion: Keep track of your enemy's fight pattern.

They continue clashing sticks.

Mysterion: Very good. You're keeping track of the arm movements, but not the legs.

Mysterion used his foot to knock Call Girl to the ground.

Mysterion: While in a duel don't just keep an eye on the enemy's arm, legs as well.

Call Girl got back up and she and Mysterion continue duelling.

Call Girl and Mysterion clashed their sticks and Call Girl used her legs to knock Mysterion onto ground.

Call Girl: I win.

Mysterion: Did you even notice how weak the ice was?

Mysterion used the stick to break the ice, but instead of Call Girl falling through it, Mysterion did.

Call Girl just laughed.

Mysterion: Laugh all you want, but the water is cold.

Montage starts.

Call Girl sneaking up on Mysterion and Mysterion quickly turning around and catching her.

Mysterion and Call Girl engaging in martial arts combat and Mysterion winning.

Wendy reading a book about martial arts and the art of being silent in City Wok.

Call Girl trying to sneak up on Mysterion again, but still catching her.

Call Girl and Mysterion practicing martial arts again, but Call Girl looks like she's gaining the upper hand. But Mysterion wins the fight again.

Wendy reading a book about "How reading books makes you better and makes montages move faster" in City Wok.

Mysterion standing in the middle of the forest and turning his back to see if he can catch Call Girl, but she isn't there. Call Girl grabs Mysterion by the shoulders and he is startled.

Call Girl and Mysterion engaging in martial arts combat again, but this time Call Girl wins.

We cut to Wendy closing a book in City Wok.

Wendy: I'm ready.

Mr Kim: Hey you gon buy anything from my Shitty Wok? You've been coming here for four days and you don't buy my Shitty food.

Montage ends.

Later.

Call Girl meets up with Mysterion.

Call Girl: Hey.

Mysterion: Oh hey.

Call Girl: What you doing?

Mysterion was staring at a house.

Call Girl: Is that the house of a troll?

Mysterion: No.

Call Girl than notices a girl in the window from a distant.

Mysterion: No. It's Tammy, my ex girlfriend.

Call Girl: How did you break up?

Mysterion gave Call Girl a stern look.

Call Girl: Oh right.

Mysterion: I died when Tammy broke up with me.

Call Girl: I'm pretty sure Stan did the same when I broke up with him that day.

Mysterion: Yeah.

Call Girl: I'm assuming you joined the Gender War because of the breakup?

Mysterion: To be honest. I joined because everybody was flashing their wieners and I wanted to let it hang.

Call Girl: Gross.

Mysterion: After the war ended, I didn't know if I should talk to her and I still don't. I sometimes watch her to see if she's safe. I still care about her Wendy. And I hate that she decided to FOLLOW THAT FUCKING SEXIST BITCH!

Mysterion punches a rock causing his knuckles to bleed.

Call Girl: If you wanna get back together with her maybe you could speak to a therapist. That's how me and Stan got back together.

Mysterion: I don't know if I should. I'm scared that Tammy doesn't wanna talk to me.

Call Girl gave Mysterion a card.

Mysterion read the card and it said "Dr Hector. Psychiatrist".

**(A/N: Read Couples Therapy).**

Mysterion: Thanks Wendy.

Mysterion and Call Girl smile.

Mysterion: Oh. Best part.

Mysterion pulled out a bottle of lube from his pocket.

Call Girl: What are you-

Call Girl notices Tammy taking her shirt off.

Call Girl: Gross!

Mysterion: Stan will probably do it with you or the other way around.

Monday.

The community centre.

Call Girl and Mysterion were on the roof preparing for the attack.

Mysterion: This is it.

Mysterion and Call Girl were viewing the meeting from the skylight.

Call Girl: Can you hear what they are saying?

Mysterion laid his head on the skylight to see if he can hear anything.

Mysterion: They're planning to troll Kim Jong Un by pretending that one of them is the President so that they can start World War 3. And they're planning to do it, tonight.

Call Girl: What?!

Mysterion: Well I'm not standing around waiting!

Mysterion and Call Girl burst through the skylight.

All the trolls turned their attention to the two superhero's.

Dildo Shwaggins: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody doesn't want us to start World War 3.

Mysterion: This stops now!

Dildo Shwaggins: Well you're too late. The post is gonna be sent soon. And they'll be chaos.

Call Girl: Enough! We're taking you in!

Dildo Shwaggins: I don't think so. Trolls, attack!

The trolls didn't attack.

Dildo Shwaggins: Well? What are you doing standing around?

The trolls start walking away.

Dildo Shwaggins: Where are you guys going? Attack!

Troll: We only know how to attack people emotionally, not physically.

All the trolls leave.

Call Girl: Wow! That was super easy.

Mysterion: Barley an inconvenience.

Call Girl: Come on let's-

Suddenly Dildo pulled a gun out.

Dildo Shwaggins: Not so fast. You will not stop what must happen. I will send this post to Kim Jong Un and than, it'll be bye, bye civilisation.

Mysterion: You're insane! You'll kill millions of people!

Dildo Shwaggins: Yeah. Pretty cool right? Here we go.

Dildo was about to press the button until...

Mysterion: Wait. Before you press the button, can I ask, Who is SkankHunt42?

Dildo Shwaggins: That's it? You want to know the identity?

Mysterion: Yeah.

Dildo Shwaggins: Well I never bothered to refer to him by his real name. But he is part of the Jewish religion and is- Why the fuck am I telling you this? I should just activate the-

Call Girl: I have to stop you right there.

Dildo Shwaggins: Oh. Now what?

Call Girl: I hacked into your computer and have erased the post from existence and also, I have erased your account on all forms of social media.

Mysterion and Dildo stare at her with shocked expressions.

Mysterion: Damn girl!

Dildo Shwaggins: No! No! No! No! No! No!

Dildo was checking his phone, laptop and computer to see if Call Girl was right and she was.

Dildo Shwaggins: You bitch!

Dildo aimed his gun at Call Girl and pulled the trigger.

Mysterion jumped in front of Call Girl causing the bullet to hit him.

Call Girl: Mysterion!

Dildo Shwaggins: I shot your boyfriend. But I still got a few bullets le-

Suddenly his phone started beeping.

Dildo pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Dildo Shwaggins: What the?

Voice: Phone Destroyer!

Dildo's phone let out an electric blast causing him to be knocked out.

Call Girl: Fool of a Shwaggins.

Call Girl held onto Mysterion's body.

Call Girl: Kenny.

Mysterion coughed up some blood.

Mysterion: You did it. You saved the world.

Call Girl: I'm gonna get you to the hospital.

Mysterion: Nah! Not worth it.

Call Girl started tearing up.

Call Girl: Kenny! You trained me! I may need to learn some more stuff!

Mysterion: You'll find out as you go on.

Mysterion coughed some more blood.

Mysterion: Give this to Tammy when you see her.

Mysterion handed Call Girl a folded piece of paper.

Mysterion: Please don't open it. That is specifically for Tammy. Tell her, I love her and I'm sorry.

Call Girl: No! No!

Mysterion dies in Call Girl's arms.

Call Girl started to tear up some more.

Behind Call Girl, Gerald entered the community centre, but when he saw Call Girl he quickly turned around and exited the community centre.

Epilogue.

**(A/N: This takes place after the U-Stor It mission from TFBW).**

Call Girl was outside the area removing her mask.

Call Girl: Jesus. What a day.

But behind Call Girl was Toolshed.

Toolshed: Hey.

Call Girl: Oh shit!

Call Girl quickly puts her mask back on.

Toolshed: I haven't seen you before my name is Toolshed, and you are?

Call Girl turns to Toolshed.

Call Girl: Call Girl.

Toolshed: Call Girl, that's an amazing name.

Call Girl: Thanks Stan. I mean-

Toolshed: Wait. How do you know my name?

Call Girl sighed.

Call Girl: I guess I have no choice.

Call Girl starts to untie her mask. She hesitates for a moment but she takes it off revealing her identity to Stan.

Toolshed was shocked.

Toolshed: No way!

Toolshed takes off his goggles.

Stan: Wendy?

Wendy: I can explain Stan I-

Stan: Were amazing.

Wendy: What?

Stan: Wendy, you were amazing. No, not amazing. Fantastic.

Wendy: You don't mind me being a superhero?

Stan: Well you know I'm not gonna stop ya. Since you're the most determined person I have ever met.

Wendy: But you told me to-

Stan: I was only trying to keep you safe.

Wendy: I know. I just wanted to prove to you I was capable of being a superhero.

Stan: And you are. If I didn't convince you to not be a superhero, than you wouldn't be.

Wendy smiled at Stan.

Stan: Do you wanna be a member of the Freedom Pals? There's always room for a girl in our franchise.

Wendy: I prefer to be neutral for a while. But I'll think about it. Once I-We find out who's been stealing these cats. I'll try and give out as much information to you as I can. Because this looks like it could lead into something big.

Stan: Yeah. I'll see you around.

Wendy puts back on her mask and approaches Stan.

Call Girl: Same with you.

Call Girl kisses Stan on the cheek before disappearing into the night.

Stan: Damn. She actually looks hot in that outfit.

Stan looks down.

Stan: Oh shit.


End file.
